Updated: March 8, 2024
By: Bijan Rafii, M. Sc.
Chair, The Canadian Campaign for Equal Shared Co-Parenting
Traditional parenting roles have been part of human society from early on and have evolved from both evolutionary and practical reasons in order to maximize the survival of our species. These early traditional roles necessitated mothers to be the primary care giver of children and manage the household, whereas men were expected to be the providers and protectors of their families. Especially in the early years, mothers have traditionally been seen as the more critical parent than fathers due to the magic of childbirth, as well as the unique ability for mothers to nurture infants.
Interestingly, recent research has shown men undergo biological changes when they become fathers. While the biological changes fathers undergo are not as well understood (nor as outwardly dramatic) as those of mothers, scientists are just beginning to find that both men and women undergo hormonal and brain changes that herald this key transition in a parent’s life. In essence, being a Dad is also a biological phenomenon.
However, due to a number of factors, women’s role in both housework and child rearing has decreased and their participation in the workforce has increased in the last decades. These factors included household technologies that reduced the number of hours required for household chores, the choice to have fewer children as societies have become more urbanized, women’s desire to more fully participate in the society outside of the household, as well as the notion of equality becoming more defined by equal participation of women in the workforce. Given the increased contribution of women to household income, there has been an equal expectation for men to also dedicate more time to childcare and house chores, a call which men have generally embraced (Bianchi, 2000; Guppy et al., 2019).
During the last decades, there has also been another significant societal change. That is, the very large percentage of marriage unions failing. The divorce rate has increased from about 10% in the 1960s to about 40% in recent years (Luscomb, 2018). According to Statistics Canada (Statistics Canada, 2017), between 1991 and 2011, approximately 5 million Canadians separated or divorced. Of these, 38% had a child together at the time of their separation or divorce, half of which were under 5 years old. Although mothers generally receive child custody, since 1960s there also has been a nine-fold increase in the number of single Dads in the society (Pew Research Centre, 2013). Divorce brings significant trauma for both partners. In a recent study, the second most significant non clinical risk factor for mortality was found to be divorce (after smoking and before alcohol; Puterman et. al. 2020). This is consistent with previous data which has shown that men who go through divorce have 8 times the suicide rate than women in the similar situation (Kposowa, et al., 2000).
The family courts and the society’s attitude towards fathers, however, have not caught up with the increasing responsibility fathers have taken in childcare and the new research showing the critical role they play in the healthy development of their children. In one estimate, only about 22% of fathers are granted shared custody of their children after divorce (Bala et al, 2017), although this number may be increasing (Bala and Ebsim, 2021). Custody is given to mothers especially for children in their early years. This is the result of the tender years doctrine where family courts are reluctant to give shared custody to fathers because of the belief mothers are more critical for the emotional development of children in the early years.
In many cases, another factor has been that a father’s less availability due to working longer hours to provide for his family is seen as a sign of his lack of dedication to his family and not because of his efforts to create the resources for his family’s wellbeing and for the children’s success. Moreover, once custody is granted for children in the early years to their mother, it is less likely for custody to be shared in the later years or the children be able to form meaningful relationship with their father.
Another trend in the past few decades has been children being born outside of marriage. Children are in an increased risk of becoming fatherless if their parents were not married and this risk has been steadily increasing. The percent of children born outside of marriage in 1965 was 3.1%; this number is closer to 40% in recent years (Wildsmith et al, 2018); the number is 50% for women who are not college educated (De Parle and Vavernise, 2012). When unmarried couples live together when their child is born, by the end of the child’s third birthday, 40% of those children will have no regular contact with their Dad in the next two years (Waldfogel, et al, 2010; Smock and Greenland, 2010). One third of children in the US live in fatherless homes (US Census Bureau, 2010). Eighty-six percent of families with a step-parent consist of a stepdad and biological Mom (Hetherington, 1994). Although, many of the divorced couples may remarry in order to provide a stable home for their children, the divorce rate for stepfamilies is 50% higher than average (Mavis, 2002). There is also a gender difference in remarrying after divorce. The more a divorced man earns, the more likely he is to remarry. On the other hand, the more money a divorced woman has, the less likely she will remarry (Glick, 1980).
Over the past decades, a great deal of research has accumulated which supports the critical role that Dads play in the development of their children and how their absence can prove detrimental to the chance of the success of their children in life and the cost to the society as a whole. Here are ways fathers make a difference in their children’s lives and how absence of fathers can severely affect their kids (please also see Farrell and Gray, 2018, for an excellent review on this topic and comprehensive list of references):
The phrase “the best interests of the child” is the guiding principle family courts use to determine the custody arrangements after divorce and has been the justification to limit custody to only one parent, mostly mothers. In addition to the studies cited above, here is more evidence from the research why joint physical custody (in Canada now referred to shared parenting time and shared parenting decision making) in the form of equal shared co-parenting is in the best interest of the children:
There have been a number of consensus reports where experts in child development psychology have given their opinions regarding whether children will be better off in an equal shared co-parenting arrangement versus in a sole custody arrangement (e. g., Braver and Lamb, 2018; Warshak, 2014). The consensus of these experts is that it is in the best interests of the children to be in an equal shared co-parenting time after separation.
The intrinsic value of equal shared co-parenting has also become apparent to the public. The latest Nanos poll shows:
Shared co-Parenting -either de jure or de facto – is increasingly becoming the standard in western countries including Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Belgium, France, Netherlands, and Brazil. Greece adopted strong shared parenting legislation in May 2021. In the US, Arizona passed “maximum parenting time” provisions in 2014, Kentucky adopted “rebuttable presumption” in 2018 which was echoed by Arkansas in 2021. West Virginia passed legislation for presumption of equal shared co-parenting after divorce. Florida and Missouri are the latest American state to implement equal shared co-parenting in 2023. In addition, Texas extended its standard parenting plan in 2021 to a presumptive minimum of 40% parenting time. In 2021, a record number of 48 shared parenting bills were introduced in 23 state legislatures. Ohio- the fifth largest state-is anticipated to pass strong shared parenting legislation with 61 co-sponsors. The US has an average shared parenting higher than Canada (22%) at 25% with 17 states exceeding 30% and states like Wisconsin, Oregon, Massachusetts, Maine with prevalence exceeding 40% (Meyer, 2019).
A recent survey has highlighted the value of shared parenting for Moms as well. More equality in time-sharing single mothers have with their children’s father correlates with higher income and more reports of feeling proud of their parenting . A few survey highlights include:
One of the concerns against Equal Shared Co-Parenting is its impact on domestic violence. Recently there has been great public awareness regarding this issue. According to the most recent report from Statistics Canada, about 2.1% of women and 1.9% of men in their current relationship in the past 5 years experienced domestic violence. If violence in the former relationship was also included, 3.5% of Canadian report experience a violence in a current or former relationship (about 60% of the victims being women and about 40% being men). There is currently no evidence that Equal Shared Co-Parenting increases domestic violence. On the contrary, in a recent report domestic violence after divorce decreased in regions of Spain where Equal Co-Parenting was introduced versus other regions (Fernandez-Krantz, 2020).
Given the large body of research on the importance of both parents on the wellbeing of their children, the consensus of the experts, adoption of shared parenting legislations in a large number of other progressive jurisdictions in the world, and the overwhelming public opinion (both globally and in Canada) in the value of and the right of children in having both parents in their lives, it is time that the family courts and politicians in Canada to come onboard and institute a more progressive shared co-parenting policy in our family courts. Rebuttable presumption for equal shared co-parenting proposal, which assumes equal shared co-parenting in absence of violence and abuse as a starting point during the divorce proceeding, is now the gold standard in international equal shared co-parenting legislation and a good way of doing this. This proposal allows for situations where shared co-parenting is not in the best interests of a child. This arrangement also reduces the potential for conflict between the parents, as they no longer have to fight over the custody of their children, as well as reducing the usual high legal fees couples incur during the divorce proceedings where states what instituted shared parenting have seen significant reduction in legal bills for parents going through separation and divorce.
The data from jurisdictions that have adopted equal shared co-parenting legislation is also coming out. A recent publication has compared a number of outcomes from regions in Spain that have adopted shared parenting legislation to others that have not. The study finds positive outcomes in all criteria, including teenagers (especially boys) displaying lower high risk behaviour such as addiction, as well as higher employment rate for the mothers given they have more availability to dedicate time to their careers.
The Canadian Campaign for Equal Shared Co-Parenting was launched in the March 2022 and endeavours to bring about an amendment to the Divorce Act to implement rebuttable presumption for equal shared co-parenting (absent special circumstances.
The author would like to thank George Piskor MASc, SM, LL.M, P.Eng, Sherry Barna, and Julien Meyer, PhD. for providing helpful feedback on this article.
Arnold. November 1998. Children of Stepfamilies: A Snapshot. Center for Law and Social Policy.
https://www.clasp.org/sites/default/files/public/resources-and-publications/archive/0028.pdf
Bala et al. 2017. Shared parenting in Canada: Increasing use but continued controversy. Family Court Review. 55: 513–530.
https://doi.org/10.1111/fcre.12301
Bala. 2022. The 2021 Canadian Parenting Reforms: Is Shared Parenting the New Normal? Queen’s University Legal Research Paper. March 2022.
https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=4058375
Bertrand and Pan. 2013. The Trouble with Boys: Social influences and the gender gap in disruptive behavior. American Economic Journal: Applied Economics. 5(1): 32–64.
https://DOI: 10.1257/app.5.1.32
Bianchi et al. 2000. Is anyone doing the housework? Trends in the gender division of household labour. Social Forces. 79:191-228.
https://doi.org/10.2307/2675569
Braver and Lamb. 2018. Shared Parenting After Parental Separation: The Views of 12 Experts. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage. 59: 372-387.
https://doi.org/10.1080/10502556.2018.1454195
Clarke-Stewart and Hayward. 1996. Advantages of father custody, and contact for the psychological well-being of school-age children. Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology. 17: 239-70.
https://doi.org/10.1016/S0193-3973(96)90027-1
Christensen. 1988. America’s Academic Dilemma: The Family and the Schools. In Family in America. 2(6), cited in Farrell and Gray, 2018.
Christoffersen. 1998. Growing Up With Dad: A Comparison of Children Aged 3-5 Years Old Living with their Mothers or their Fathers. Childhood. 5(1): 41:54.
http://chd.sagepub.com/cgi/content/abstract/5/1/41
Coiro et al. December 1994. Health of Our Nation’s Children. Vital Health Statistics. series 10. Data from the National Health Interview Survey No. 191. Vital and Health Statistics. Centre for Disease Control and Prevention/National Centre for Health Statistics.
https://stacks.cdc.gov/view/cdc/6231
Coleman. 2014. Support for Bill C-560 (Shared Parenting Bill).
https://www.complexfamilylaw.com/support-for-bill-c-560-shared-parenting-bill
Coleman and Piskor. 2019. Presentation to Association of Family and Conciliation Courts. Association of Family and Conciliation Courts 56th Annual Conference. The Future of Family Justice: International Innovations. May 29 -June 1, 2019 (Toronto).
Coombs and Landsverk. 1988. Parenting styles and substance use during childhood and adolescence. Journal of Marriage and the Family. 50 (May):473-482 (Table 4).
https://doi.org/10.2307/352012
Dalton et al. 1987. Psychiatric hospitalization of pre-school children: admission factors and discharge implications. Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. 26: 308-12.
https://doi.org/10.1097/00004583-198705000-00004
Deutsch and Brown. 1964. Social Influences in Negro-White Intelligence Differences. Journal of Social Issues: 20:29.
https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1540-4560.1964.tb01698.x
De Parle and Vavernise. Feb 17, 2012. For Women Under 30, Most Births Occur Outside Marriage. New York Times.
Downey and Powell. 1993. Do children in single-parent households fare better living with same-sex parent? Journal of Marriage and the Family. 55 (1): 55-71.
https://doi.org/10.2307/352959
Doherty et al. 2015. Is the gender gap in college enrolment influenced by nonmarital birth rates and father absence? Family Relations. 65:263–74.
https://doi.org/10.1111/fare.12157
Farrell and Gray. 2018. Boy Crisis. BenBella Books.
Fernández-Kranz, Daniel; Nollenberger, Natalia; Roff, Jennifer Louise. 2020. Bargaining under Threats: The Effect of Joint Custody Laws on Intimate Partner Violence, IZA Discussion Papers, No. 13810, Institute of Labor Economics (IZA), Bonn.
http://hdl.handle.net/10419/227337
Furstenberg and Harris. 1993. When and why fathers matter: Impacts of father involvement on the children of adolescent mothers, in young unwed fathers: changing roles and emerging policies, ed. Robert I. Lerman and Ooms. Philadelphia. Temple University Press. Pp127, 130. Cited in Farrell and Gray 2018.
Glick. 1980. Remarriage: Some Recent Changes and Variations. Journal of E. Issues 1(4): 455–78.
https://doi.org/10.1177/0192513X8000100402
Guppy et al. 2019. Social Change and the Gendered Division of Household Labor in Canada. Canadian Review of Sociology. 56(2) 178-203.
https://doi.org/10.1111/cars.12242
Harper and McLanahan. 2004. Father absence and youth incarceration. Journal of Research on Adolescence. 14:36.
https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1532-7795.2004.00079.x
Hetherington and Kelly. 2003. For better or for worse: Divorce Reconsidered. New York, W. W. Norton, 2003. Cited in Farrell and Gray 2018.
Hetherington. 1994. Stepfamilies as settings for child development. in Stepfamilies: Who Benefits? Who Does Not? Ed. Booth and Dunn. Hillsdale, NJ. Lawrence Erlbaum. Cited in Farrell and Gray 2018.
Jablonska and Lindberg. 2007. Risk Behaviors, victimization and mental distress among adolescents in different family structures. Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology. 42(8): 656-63.
https//doi.org/10.1007/s00127-007-0210-3
Karlsson et al. 2020. Association of Cumulative Paternal Early Life Stress With White Matter Maturation in Newborns. JAMA Network Open. 3(11):e2024832.
http//doi.org/10.1001/jamanetworkopen.2020.24832
Kposowa, 2000. Marital Status and Suicide in the National Longitudinal Mortality Study. Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health 54:254-61 (tables 2-3).
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1731658/
Knight and Prentky. 1987. The developmental antecedents of adult adaptions of rapist sub-types. Criminal Justice and Behavior. 14:413-14.
https://doi.org/10.1177/0093854887014004001
Lambra et al. 2013. Low paternal dietary folate alters the mouse sperm epigenome and is associated with negative pregnancy outcomes. Nature Communications. 4:2889.
https://DOI.org/10.1038/ncomms3889
Luepnitz 1982. Child Custody: A study of families after divorce. Lexington, MA. D. C. Heath. Cited in Farrell and Gray, 2018.
Luscomb. 2018. The Divorce Rate Is Dropping. That May Not Actually Be Good News. Time Magazine.
https://time.com/5434949/divorce-rate-children-marriage-benefits
McLanahan et al. 2013. The Causal Effects on Father Absence. Annual Review of Sociology. 39: 399-427.
https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-soc-071312-145704
Meyer et al. 2019. 2018–2020 Child Support Policy Research Agreement Task 12: Changes in Placement after Divorce and Implications for Child Support Policy. Institue for Research in Policy. University of Wisconsin- Madison.
https://www.irp.wisc.edu/wp/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/CS-2018-2020-Task-12.pdf
Moalem. 2020. The Better Half: On the Genetic Superiority of Women. Picador.
Morrison et al. eds, 1994. Parent-Child Relations and Investments of Parental time in Children. Washington, DC. Child Trends. Cited in Farrell and Gray 2018.
Mitchell et. al. 2017. Father loss and child telomere length. Pediatrics 140: 1-10.
https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2016-3245
Nielson. 2018. Joint Versus Sole Physical Custody: Children’s Outcomes Independent of Parent–Child Relationships, Income, and Conflict in 60 Studies. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage. 59: 247-281.
https://doi.org/10.1080/10502556.2018.1454204.
Nobes et al. 1999. Physical Punishment by Mothers and Fathers in British Homes. Journal of Interpersonal Violence. 14:887-902.
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/088626099014008006
Nordahl. 2014. Early Father-Child Interactions in a Father-Friendly Context.
PhD thesis, Faculty of Psychology, University of Bergen, Norway.
http://www.sakkyndig.com/psykologi/artvit/nordahl2014.pdf
Daniel Paquette. University of Montreal, cited in Sue Shellenbarger, June 11, 2014. “Rough housing Lessons from Dad. Wall Street Journal.
https://www.wsj.com/articles/roughhousing-lessons-from-dad-1402444262
Pedersen et al. 1979. Infant Development in Father-Absent Families. Journal of Genetic Psychology. 135: 55-57.
https://doi.org/10.1080/00221325.1979.10533416
Pew Research Centre. July 2, 2013. The Rise of Single Fathers: A Ninefold Increase since 1960.
http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2013/07/02/the-rise-of-single-fathers
Piskor. Shared Parenting: Myths and Stereotypes. Momentum 2021. The Canadian National Men’s Issue Conference. December 11, 2021.
Pojman. 1982. Emotional adjustment of boys in sole custody and joint custody compared with adjustment of boys in happy and unhappy marriages. PhD dissertation, California Graduate Institute, Los Angeles. Cited in Farrell and Gray, 2018.
Pruett. 1989. The nurturing male: A longitudinal study of primary nurturing fathers. In Cath et al (Eds.), Fathers and their families. Analytic Press, Inc. pp. 389–405. Cited in Farrell and Gray 2018.
Smith and Jarjoura. 1988. Social structure and criminal victimization. Journal of Research in Crime and Delinquency. 25:27-52.
https://doi.org/10.1177/0022427888025001003
Puterman et al. 2020. Predicting mortality from 57 economic, behavioural, social, and psychological factors. PNAS. 117:16273-16282.
https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1918455117
Smock and Greenland. 2010. Diversity in pathways to parenthood: Patterns, implications, and emerging research directions. Journal of Marriage and Family. 72(3): 576–93.
https://www.jstor.org/stable/40732497
Schore. 2017. All our sons: The developmental neurobiology and neuroendocrinology of boys at risk. Infant Mental Health Journal. 38(1):15–52.
http://doi.org/10.1002/imhj.21616
Statistics Canada. 2017. Just Facts: Child Custody and Access.
https://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/rp-pr/jr/jf-pf/2017/nov02.html
Shana Conroy. 2021. Spousal Violence in Canada 2019. Statistics Canada Report.
https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/en/pub/85-002-x/2021001/article/00016-eng.pdf?st=jUEphDr0
The Moynihan Report: The Negro Family: The Case for National Action. 1965.
https://www.dol.gov/general/aboutdol/history/webid-moynihan/moynchapter3
Tillman. 2007. Family Structure Pathways and Academic Disadvantage
Among Adolescents in Stepfamilies. Sociological Inquiry. 77(3): 32.
https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-682X.2007.00198.x
US Department of Justice. 1998. What can the federal government do to decrease crime and revitalize communities?” Panel Papers, Office of Justice Programs, National Institute of Justice, p 11.
https://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles/172210.pdf
US Census Bureau. 2010. Living arrangements of children under 18 Years and marital status of parents by age, sex, race and hispanic origin, and selected Characteristics of the Child for All Children. Current Population Survey. Table C3.
https://www.census.gov/data/tables/2010/demo/families/cps-2010.html
Sanapo and Yasuhide, 2011.Gender and physical punishment: the Pilipino children’s experience. 20:39-56.
https://doi.org/10.1002/car.1148
Velez and Cohen. 1988. Suicidal behavior and ideation in a community sample of children: Maternal and youth reports. Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. 273:349-56 (table 5).
https://doi.org/10.1097/00004583-198805000-00014
Waldfogel, et al. 2010. Fragile families and child wellbeing. Future Child. 20: 87–112.
https://doi.org/10.1353/foc.2010.0002
Warshak. 2014. Social science and parenting plans for young children: A consensus report. Psychology, Public Policy, and Law, 20(1), 46–67.
https://doi.org/10.1037/law0000005
Wilcox. December 16, 2013. Sons of Divorce, School Shooters.
https://ifstudies.org/blog/school-shootings-fathers-divorce-family-structure
Wildsmith et al. 2018.Dramatic increase in the proportion of births outside of marriage in the United States from 1990 to 2016.Child Trends.
https://www.childtrends.org/publications/dramatic-increase-in-percentage-of-births-outside-marriage-among-whites-hispanics-and-women-with-higher-education-levelss
Zahn-Waxler et al. 2008. Disorders of Childhood and adolescence: Gender and Psychopathology. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology. 4:275-303.
https://DOI.org/10.1146/annurev.clinpsy.3.022806.091358
2 Comments
Excellent and timely article given we are in the midst of an election.
CPC and Greens have long supported shared parenting in their party platforms; Liberals, NDP and BQ have been steadfastly silent. PPC party platform unknown but Maxime Bernier as party leader was strong shared parenting supporter when he was a CPC member.
I will forward your article to my local mp and mpp and other interested parties for distribution – the federal law regarding rights of a child must change. Notwithstanding the UNRC, Katelynns’ Principles and the amended Divorce Act, the CLRA among other statues, the family court judges are still above the law – a lot of people do not know that they can report judges to both the Law Society and to the Judicial Review Board – I can say a lot of things but what will it do – I recently tried with my MPP and he did not have a clue – I tried with previous MPs, MPPs and even our premier and nothing was done. I was asked not to storm the Legislature and my petition for change was ignored. Most lawyers are part of the problem.