How Did She Get Me?

By: Milton Cust

From the moment Lisa McLeod walked into the police station Constable Richard Saminsky knew she meant trouble. Why? Because he didn’t like kids and this one fit the bill to a T. Probably 10 or 12 years old, pigtails bouncing as she walked in through the door, a few freckles across her face and fashionable glasses perched on her nose. Kids, you gotta be careful with them around, he warned himself as she strode confidently towards the desk. They should be barely seen and rarely heard because they were trouble from the moment they were born. Yes, even those adorable newborns could spell trouble. Oh, they looked cute alright with everybody cooing at them and their toothless smiles, but underneath they were nothing but trouble because the moment you picked them up they pooped in their diapers or got sick and made a mess on your shoulders. It just got worse from there because the older they got, the more trouble they caused.

As Constable Saminksy watched her take a pink backpack decorated with a happy face off her shoulders and march in as if she owned the place, he wished there was a way all kids could be stowed away somewhere until they emerged as mature adults. Those he could handle, no problem. As a beat cop, he dealt with criminal adults all the time and they were much easier to handle than kids. Constable Saminsky watched her carefully as she casually swung her backpack around and made for the door beside his desk, acting as if she was going to go through and enter the domain of the Westwood police station.

“What, I can’t have that. I’m going to put a stop to this right now. Nip it in the bud,” he muttered as he stood up to block her way. “Where do you think you’re going young lady?” he demanded in a tone that dripped with authority. The same one he used to get the attention of uncooperative criminals. Lisa, with her earplugs firmly embedded in her ears as she grooved to the latest sensational teen musical trio, had been totally oblivious to the constable at the entrance desk until his voice stopped her cold. It sounded to her like the voice an army drill sergeant used as he barked orders at his men. She was already pulling her ear plugs out as she came to a sudden stop. For just a moment she stared up at him in shock. She had been expecting to see Constable Andy Doobin, the policeman who usually manned the entrance to the police station. He was an overweight, older man so friendly he always played Santa Clause at the kid’s Christmas party.

As she stared up at the much taller and trimmer stranger she decided if Constable Doobin played Santa, this guy could play Mr. Scrooge as he looked like the meanest of men by the way he glared at her. “Constable Doobin is off tonight so they pulled me in off the street to handle front desk duties. What can I do for you young lady?” he demanded. “Why, is he sick or something?” Lisa asked, a concerned look on her face. “No concern of yours young lady so states your business please. I’m a busy man and have no time for games tonight.” Constable Saminky proclaimed. “What? Lisa snorted. At first the new person tending to the front desk had stunned her but since she was always quick on her feet she was quickly gaining her equilibrium.

As the daughter of Chief Detective Samantha McLeod, she was well accustomed to the routines of the West Port police station. It was located in a quiet suburb of a big city and therefore very slow except for the occasional bouts of criminal activity. Like tonight, with Lisa finishing her after school activities early, her mother told her to wait for her at the police station. It happened quite regularly, usually when her mother was on an important case and didn’t want Lisa to be at home alone. Normally she enjoyed it because she got along well with Constable Doobin but with the new policeman at the front desk, Lisa began hoping her mother wouldn’t be tied up too late.

If she’s not here soon, I might be in for a long night, she decided. As she stared back at Constable Saminsky who was still glaring at her like he wished she would disappear. No such luck, so Lisa decided she had to make the best of it. But first she decided to try something as it might take Mr. Scrooge down a notch or two. “You want to know why I’m here? It’s because my mother is Chief of Detectives McLeod and she told me to wait for her at this station. What, oh no, just my luck to get the bratty child of the chief of detectives to tend to while everybody else is out chasing down a criminal. Constable Saminsky had no idea whether Lisa was a brat or not. He just assumed she was because in his eyes, all kids caused problems and she was already near the top of his list.

He decided he could vent his frustrations by going by the book It had an added benefit of showing Lisa right off the bat who was the boss and that he wasn’t about to put up with any nonsense. As the girl moved towards the door fully expecting to gain entrance to the offices of the police department, Constable Saminksy suddenly moved in front of her to block her way. “Wow there, you just can’t enter like that. How do I know you are who you claim to be? ID please.” Lisa was fuming as she fumbled through her backpack, searching for her student ID. Since she was just a kid it was the only identification she had. She watched him scrutinize it like it might be a fake.

He was about to ask her some questions when the phone rang. “Stay right there young lady and don’t move. I gotta answer this call before I finish with you, it might be important. Lisa tried to hide her growing irritation while Saminksy answered the call. Her eyes lit up and a smile crossed her face at the sudden change in the constable’s attitude. “Yes ma’am, she’s here. She’s just arrived and I was wondering who she was, a policeman can’t be too careful these days. Yes ma’am I’ll let her in and keep an eye on her for you. Sure, no problem.”Saminsky hung up the phone and glared at Lisa. “That was your mother so I guess you’re off the hook. But since she now thinks I’m responsible for you, you’d better be on your best behavior.”

“Good grief,” Lisa muttered. “When is this guy every going to lighten up?” As Saminsky ushered the girl through the door and watched her make her way to her mother’s office, he suddenly came up with a brilliant idea. If worse came to worse, he could always lock her in one of her cells in the basement. It was sure fire way of making sure she caused no problems and left him in peace but the idea did have its drawbacks, the main one being the little brat might complain to her mother. For a while Lisa was content to sit at her mother’s desk, doing her homework and listening to the latest teen heart throbs. It kept her busy for a while but she soon grew restless. Although she often waited here for her mother, time passed quickly because Constable Doobin was always willing to play games with her. But games to pass the time with this Constable Grinch guy? She doubted it. He looked as if he never had any fun at all.

Getting more and more bored by the second, Lisa left her mother’s desk and wondered around the office, looking at the pictures on the wall, especially the one of her mother becoming a detective. It was called getting a badge. It looked so exciting and impressive it made Lisa think she should become a detective when she grew up. The other pictures were of her mother with various other people but they were so boring they only rated a brief look before she was bored again. Desperate for something to do, she finally decided to see if Constable Grinch, as she now called him, would lighten up enough to play a game with her. She strolled to the door and peered around the corner, spying him sitting back in a chair with his legs resting on the top of his desk, He was so totally engrossed with U tube on his phone she almost reached his desk before he noticed her. “Yeah, what do you want young lady?” he demanded as he slammed his feet back on the floor and hastily put down his cell phone.

“I’m bored,” Lisa shrugged and gave Constable Grinch her most disarming smile.“Oh no,” he groaned. Now the little brat is bored and wants me to entertain her. I knew she was trouble from the moment I saw her. “Well, what do you expect me to do about it?” Saminsky demanded in a snarly tone. Lisa was so bored she ignored the constable’s harsh reply and said: “I know, let’s play riddles. Constable Doobin says I’m really good at it. I beat him quite often.” Saminsky eyed the girl warily. Too tell the truth, he was pretty bored himself and in a pretty bad mood, for not being able to be able to chase down a criminal like the rest of his colleagues. He decided beating the girl in a game and putting her in her place would be quite satisfying. “Okay,” he agreed. “What kind of game is it?” He listened carefully as Lisa explained the rules. They sounded quite simple. She would present him with a problem and he could ask three questions to try and solve it. “Fair enough,” he muttered. Sounds quite simple and I’ll even let you go first.” “Okay, here’s the problem. There’s a man who lives on the 35^th floor of a highrise apartment building and every morning when he goes to work he makes sure he doesn’t forget his umbrella. Why does he do this?” Seminsky frowned as he considered the question, all kinds of ideas popping into his head but none of them seeming quite right. Then he suddenly hit him. “Because he always thinks it might rain and he’s scared he won’t have his umbrella handy.” “No, that’s not right because he takes it even when it’s bright and sunny the whole day and no one is expecting rain. You got two tries left so you can try again,” Lisa announced.

Seminsky noticed the smug smile on her bratty face and decided he wanted to wipe it away as quickly as possible. He bowed his head in concentration as he considered the problem. Then he got another brain wave. “I know, it’s because he needs it for work. There’s something he does that might get him wet so he takes his umbrella to work.” Saminsky announced, his voice dripping with triumph. “Sorry but no, he doesn’t need it for work because he’s a clock maker. No need for an umbrella at that job, is there?” Lisa’s smile grew bigger. Seminsky frowned again in frustration. What, a clock maker, are you sure about that?” Lisa nodded, “one more question left.” “A clock maker,” the constable muttered. He was all out of ideas. He shrugged in frustration and muttered: “a clock maker,” before throwing his hands up in defeat. “You know I really don’t have time for this now young lady,’ he announced. Then scratched his head and muttered a clock maker, of all the things.” Lisa suppressed a giggle at the unintended pun as she told the constable the answer. “He always carries the umbrella because he’s a midget and although he can easily touch the main floor button when he goes to work in the morning he has trouble reaching the 35^th button which is much higher up. So if he doesn’t carry the umbrella he has to wait until somebody else enters the elevator.”

“I’m tired of this game and I need to get back to work,”Saminsky announced. It was the only way he could think to quickly bow out of that game. That girl was nothing but a miss smarty pants and he hated dealing with them. He stretched his legs onto the desktop and pulled out his cell phone. Lisa wondered away and left him in peace. He watched some U Tube videos for a while before he realized something was wrong. It was that girl. She was being awfully quiet and when a kid was quiet it usually meant trouble. With a sigh of frustration he pushed himself out of his chair and went back into the detective’s area to investigate.

Saminsky found her in the office next to her mother’s entertaining herself by putting golf ball across the carpet and into a cup. He sighed with relief. She didn’t seem to be in trouble except for the fact she helped herself to somebody else’s property without asking. The constable watched as she attempted to hit the cup but missed about half the time. Augh, maybe this is something I can beat her at and put her in her place, he decided. “You’d better watch me if you want to see how to putt properly,” he announced. Lisa looked up from the putt she was lining up and stared at her nemesis. The memory of how the detectives fooled rookies started her wheels turning. She figured it would be a perfect way to fool Constable Grinch. He could be the perfect mark but she would have to be slow and careful otherwise he might catch on to what was happening. What was it Constable Doobin always said? Oh yeah, trolling for a mark is just like fishing. You gotta bait the hook, throw out the line and then dangle it right in front of the fish until it’s so tempting he can’t help but grab it. Then you gotta reel him in very carefully so that he doesn’t know he’s been caught until it’s too late.

“Sure,” Lisa said, an innocent smile on her face as she deliberately missed the cup by a couple of inches. “I can usually do better than that but my aim is off tonight. I guess I’m out of practice,” she said as she lined up another putt and missed the cup again. Saminsky watched her with growing frustration. It’s the usual thing with kids. They think they know how to do something but really haven’t a clue. “Here, let me show you how it’s done,” he said as he relieved Lisa of the putter and balls. “Okay, Ping, not too bad a putter,” he proclaimed as he studied the trade mark on its bottom. “See you gotta line up like this with your feet apart like this and then you just it go, nice and smooth,” he explained. Saminsky and the girl watched as the ball rolled quickly across the carpet and hit the edge of the cup. Lisa said nothing as he dropped down another ball, lined it up and hit the other edge of the cup. “Okay, my turn,” Lisa announced as she reclaimed the putter, lined a ball up and deliberately missed by several feet. “What? I see you managed to miss again, even after my instructions and demonstration.” Saminsky berated the girl. Lisa, realizing the constable was near ready to grab the bait she dangled in front of him, ignored his tirade. He watched Lisa line up another putt and barely suppressed a snicker as she missed that shot too.

Lisa shrugged. “Unlucky I guess cuz I’m usually better than that at it but I’m just a kid and only play this game when I got bored waiting for my mother.” In truth, she practiced so much with the detectives that hung around the office when it was slow she’d become very good at it. The idea was to keep dragging Saminsky deeper into the game until he was hooked. After Saminsky succeeded in his attempt to put the ball into the cup, Lisa said” Hey you are good, maybe we should change things around so I have a better chance of beating you.” “Now what?” Saminsky asked after Lisa had repositioned the cup so it was facing the wall. “You’ll see,” the girl replied as she took the putter from him. “Sometimes I practice bank shots. The idea is to shoot the ball against the wall and then try and hit the cup. Like this,” she said as she lined up her ball looking for the mark along the wall boards so slight only a person who knew where it was could find it. In the same way she had carefully placed the cup on the almost invisible indentations on the rug so that the proper angle was already set up for her.

Saminsky’s face was filled with doubt as he watched Lisa prepare to make her shot. “That’s almost impossible you know,” his comment breaking Lisa’s concentration. She stepped back and eyed him. “Says you, I bet you the $20 my mother left me to pay for the pizza that I can do it at least once.” While she waited with a poker face for Saminsky to take up the challenge, Lisa’s mind drifted to what her mother would do to her if she found out she was tricking the constable out of his money. Although her mother was amused at the way the veteran detectives milked the rookies out of the money, Lisa knew she would be less than amused if she discovered that her daughter was playing the same game. What were those words her mother used when she was upset with her daughter’s actions? Oh yeah. “There’s going to be some ‘serious consequences if this persists.’ Lisa thought about that as she waited for Saminsky to reply. Assuming that the constable might never catch on or be too embarrassed to say anything, even if he did realize he’d been tricked, she decided it was worth getting the extra money, even if her mother grounded her. With luck she’d never find out and what mothers don’t know don’t hurt them. Besides, she could use the money to buy another game for her Xbox.

Saminsky took up the challenge, just like Lisa figured he would because he had the kind of attitude that never allowed him to back down from a stupid little girl’s bet. She pulled the $20 bill from her backpack and put it on the desk. “The winner gets it and the loser has to buy the pizza, okay?” Saminsky nodded, his eyes flittering from the money to Lisa who was already lining up her putt. Impossible, he was thinking when the girl let her putt go. It hit the wallboard right where it was supposed to and then rolled towards the cup. Lisa smiled in triumph as, with near perfect speed, it rolled into the cup. The cop gasped in surprise. Lisa was already picking up her $20 when he exclaimed. “That was near impossible. Let me try that.” “Sure,” Lisa replied. It’s your turn.” She delayed putting her money back into her backpack until Saminsky finished his attempt, even though it was unlikely he would succeed. He seemed to take forever trying to figure out the proper angle because he was totally unaware of the secret markings. Finally he was ready. There was serious concentration on his determined face as he putted the ball towards the wall. His calculations weren’t even close and he missed the cup by several feet. “Oh, too bad you missed, guess who’s buying the pizza,” Lisa teased. The constable’s face wore a look of defeat.

“Let’s try that one more time. I bet you another $20 you can’t do that again.” Lisa accepted the challenge, lined up the ball and repeated her seemingly impossible feat. Saminsky try and failed again. As Lisa stuffed the $20 bills into her backpack, she decided to quit while she was ahead. Not because Saminsky might catch on, but because her mother might ground her for like weeks if she found out she was gaming the constable. After she and the constable dined on pizza and pop, Lisa was bored again and wondering what else she could do pass the time until her mother returned but Saminsky suddenly got very serious. “Look, it’s getting dark outside so I don’t have time to play anymore of your stupid games. I gotta be on the radio to follow the attempts to catch this guy who’s been terrorizing neighborhoods. Lately he’s been targeting bingos and mugging little old ladies who are leaving with their winnings. Last week, he rode his bike at full speed past a frail old lady and tried to rip her purse right off her shoulder. The woman, of course, resisted and her shoulder was dislocated in the process. Sometimes he walks by them and uses a sharp knife to cut the shoulder straps of their purses, which he picks up before running away. We figure that if we don’t catch this guy immediately some more women are going to get hurt. That’s why your mother has a full court press on tonight to find this perp.’ Lisa gasped in shock at the explanation. “I hope my mother catches that guy and puts him away.”

She went back to her mother’s office while Saminsky put his feet up on the desk and listened to the radio for developments as Chief of Detectives McLeod began deploying her forces. He wished he could be out there with his fellow officers but no luck. He was stuck in the office with a bratty kid who seemed to be too big for her britches. He was still smarting over the loss of $40 and wondering how she did it when he suddenly realized she’d been quiet way too long. When a kid is that quiet for that long, it means it’s up to no good. I wonder what trouble she is in. Saminsky left his desk and hurried back to the detective offices.

Visions of chaos were running through his head. Sure enough, he found her in her mother’s office and he couldn’t believe what she’d managed to do. The big TV screen that took up a whole wall was lit up. Saminsky frowned in frustration. Damn, I knew I shouldn’t have let her out of my sight. Kids are always good at finding trouble. “Hey, what do you think you’re doing?” he roared at Lisa. “That’s important police stuff there you’re playing with. It has all the places that perp has attacked those little old ladies leaving bingo.” “Sorry,” Lisa said. “I was just trying to play a game on my mother’s big screen TV and all this stuff came up. It looked kind of familiar, like something I learned in an astronomy class so I decided to take a closer look.”

“Close that down right now before we lose important clues about this perp,” Saminsky demanded. He rushed to shut down the TV. Lisa ignored his demands. She was too busy turning on the lap top computer she carried in her backpack. A bit of fiddling around with it and an image that closely resembled what was on the TV began to impose itself over it. Saminsky’s face grew red with anger. “Stop that right now, don’t you dare disobey me. Look what you’ve done to that image? You’d better hope you haven’t destroyed it.” But he was too late. Lisa had already accomplished her task. “Just what I thought,” she said. “I think I’ve solved your case. See how the image from my lap top resembles yours? I think I can tell you where that perp is going to strike tonight.”

“Okay, where. This better be good or you’re in big trouble little lady,” Saminsky ranted. “If you studied astronomy which we started to take in school, you would see this is the big dipper and see how it fits almost exactly right over that perp’s attack sites, except for here.” Lisa used the keyboard to move an arrow to the final point needed to fill in her astronomical chart. Saminsky seemed frozen in place and went dead silent before he reacted. Then he rushed over to the police radio and began talking to Chief of Detectives McLeod. “He’s going to strike at the far end of sector eight, repeat sector eight. I suggest you get some cars over there pronto,” he informed the detective boss. “What makes you sure about this, Saminsky?” McLeod asked.

“Look at the image I’m sending you. It’s the big dipper. This perp must be following an astronomy chart.” He knew nothing about computer so Lisa helped him send the chart to McLeod’s cell phone. The radio was silent while McLeod studied the images and her crew waited for instructions. Suddenly the radio was alive with activity. “This looks good, all cars roll into sector eight on silent mode. We want to flood the area and surprise the perp in the act. Since all police cars have GPS, Lisa and Saminsky’s eyes were glued to the computer that tracked them. They rejoiced in joy when a suspect was spotted, and after a brief chase, was arrested and being brought into the station.

“Thanks for keeping an eye on her. You sure she didn’t give you any trouble,” Chief of Detectives McLeod asked Saminsky later when the excitement had died down and she was preparing to take her daughter home. “No, nothing I couldn’t handle,” Constable Saminsky assured her. He watched them leave then eyed the putter, cup and balls that were back in their usual in the far corner of the detectives’ office. As his boss ushered her daughter out of the office, Lisa winked and smiled at him. It left him wondering how a mere kid had managed to win $40 off him.